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Boxing has become a circus.
You know it, we know it, and yet we continue to engage with it. The latest humdinger the sport has thrown up is the undefeated Floyd Mayweather facing off against a YouTuber whose record stands at 1-3, with his first win coming in his pro-boxing debut against fellow YouTuber Fousey.
Time to saddle in and partake on our journey of looking – extremely disparagingly – at some of the bouts that have taken place that no one ever asked for and yet still took place with, to our shame, thousands watching at the venue and back at home.
This is on you guys. And us, as a publication, for giving these shambolic contests air-time. In any case, here’s a selection of the most damaging and unnecessary bouts that tarred the reputation of the 'noble art' of boxing.
Read More: Jake Paul v Conor McGregor branded 'biggest fight in boxing' that would make PPV history
Every Jake Paul fight
Jake Paul is symbolic of our crisis of masculinity in society. Fast cars, money, women, jewellery, bulging muscles and boxing fights with some of the biggest names in the sport who are either way past it or are happy to go down for the count for some sort of payoff (probably.)
We would detail each fight he’s competed in – his record 6-0 now, crikey! – but we fear it would likely bore you as much as the actual bouts themselves. Noises are his next fight will be against an upright embalmment of the deceased Sonny Liston, dug from the earth and thrown in the ring as Paul knocks seven shades of s**t out of him to continue his 100% win record. What a pro. Such talent. We can’t wait to see what nursing home of former stars he will raid next to secure his next bout.
Amir Khan vs Kel Brook
Earlier this year, Amir Khan and Kell Brook settled their rivalry, in a fight that was 20 years n the making. It was Khan’s first fight in almost three years and his rival’s first bout in 15 months. A match that should have taken place years ago happened when both were at retirement age. Well, now both are.
Brook won, being the better of the very-past-its with a sixth-round win – a popular result given Khan’s childish decision to goad his foe in the buildup by suggesting he was ‘gay’. Justice served.
Canelo Alvarez vs Gennady Golovkin
Another utterly pointless bout that took place this year. Canelo Alvarez smashed Gennady Golovkin to successfully defend his WBC, WBA, WBO and IBF titles at 168lbs via a unanimous points victory.
The two had faced off in some stunning fights before, with the second edition being labelled the ‘fight of year’ in 2018 by Ring magazine. But this was now Golovkin at 40 years old, and a fight that seemed to take place merely to cap off the trilogy. A bit like the Godfather franchise, the third one was all a bit unnecessary and very much in the shadows of its predecessors.
Floyd Mayweather vs Logan Paul
We’re not sure what’s a bigger travesty: the making of this fight in the first place or the actual bout itself. Mayweather, a man whose extreme talent, unfortunately, does not equate to his likeability, against the untrained YouTuber Logan Paul, who does not score high in either.
The fight itself took place in 2021 in Florida – and it sadly legitimised the premise of these obscene, unwanted, stomach-curling, uber-monetised contests. Bizarrely – and no one can really put their finger on why or how – Paul was able to draw with the former five-division world champion.
We can only come to the conclusion that Paul is, in fact, a vastly talented, one-in-a-million fighter who fulfilled the opportunity of a lifetime. We know! Such a coincidence, but these things do happen. So yes, well done to Paul and the Moneymaker, who clearly exerted full effort down to his last fibre.
Tyson Fury vs Derek Chisora
When True Geordie isn’t making heinous jokes about how Muslims enjoy blowing themselves up, he does show a degree of courage in challenging his YouTube guests. Tyson Fury appeared on the internet personality's well-loved podcast thinking he would be tiptoed around like he was on an episode of the Lorraine Show, but instead the host bluntly queried why the Gypsy King had opted to fight Derek Chisora – who he has already defeated twice – in what will certainly be a mismatched snoozefest.
Geordie challenged to Fury: “What I am saying is with his record right now, he [Chisora] shouldn’t be getting a world title fight. There is a potential for people in boxing to get badly hurt if they are mismatched. I think this is a mismatch.”
Fury fumed and ended the phone call, blasting: “I think you’re a t****. You little tosspot. And I won’t be doing any more interviews with you little tosspot, bearded, bald-headed t******. Kiss my balls, you little w**ker. You little s**thouse. Suck a d**k."
Fury will fight his fellow Brit for the WBC heavyweight title in London on December 3. We're sure it will be one of the ages.
Floyd Mayweather vs Deji
This forthcoming bout has its own Wikipedia page. It reads: “Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Deji is an upcoming exhibition crossover boxing match contested between former five-division world champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. and YouTuber Deji Olatunji.”
Read it again. Take that in. Think about it. This isn’t normal. But this is now where we are in the sport. KSI’s younger brother will head into the ring with one of boxing’s true greats to pile more misery on the sport. What joy.
We all know the PPV will cost more than your monthly shopping trip and it will end in one of two ways: Mayweather actually trying and knocking down the 25-year-old sibling-of-a-famous-internet-personality within seconds (yawn) – or, what is far more likely, the American putting in next to zero effort and allowing his foe to come off with some semblance of credibility (on paper, anyway).
Oh, boxing, where did we all go wrong and will you ever forgive us?
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- Amir Khan
- Floyd Mayweather
- Logan Paul
- Tyson Fury
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